School's Out for Summer

There's nothing to compete with the last day of school. It's a joyous occasion for both mom and kid alike. No more homework, no more social issues (i.e. bullying), no more hectic mornings, no more packing lunches...it's just great. It takes us a good week or two to get adjusted to the feeling of, "Now what do we do?" and by the time August rolls around, I have my own paper-countdown-chain for the first day of school. Life is funny like that.

This school year has made me much more aware of the things said at school. Yesterday, my eight-year-old Shaylah said, "I pointed to my snack with my middle finger and my friend told me I can't use my finger because it means, 'I am not your friend and I'm never going to be." Of course this, like most heavier subjects, was asked while we were in the car. I explained the middle finger as well as I knew how. I started off by showing her the "okay" and "thumbs-up" sign, asking her what they meant. Gold star, she got them both. I then explained that showing someone your middle finger is equivalent to cussing at them. She was horrified. "Why would they take our finger and make it a bad word?"

Conversations like that hurt my head. She's only 8, but I have made a rule with myself that I will not feed her serious questions with fluff. I went on to explain that her middle finger is not bad and that the way she pointed with it was not bad. It's when you hold your hand up to deliberately "flip someone off" that it becomes bad. She asked me if that's how you break up with a boy.

Grrrr...parenting is so hard!!

After a bit of deliberation, I told her the gesture stands for, "up yours," because I needed her to grasp the depth of the ugliness and that the phrase her friend told her (I'm not your friend and I'm never going to be) was an extremely softened version of what it really means. Of course, she then asked, "Up your what?" I told her the truth and the pieces finally clicked. I finished off our conversation explaining that the information I'm giving her is for her only and not to tell all her friend's about it.

I'm so glad today is the last day of school. Three months of blissful, uncomplicated days where I get to control their influences and reinstate good behavior. I stand behind my decision to parent with honesty and I would encourage all of my friends to do the same. If we don't tell them the truth about simple things like cussing and sex (really, it is simple, we just complicate it), then why would they come to us with questions or information about drugs, molestation or physical abuse?

Thanks for reading!!