I never realized I'd end up in my 30's so quickly, you know that age that teens no longer really notice you and if they do, it's not usually for a flattering reason. Well, here I am. I arrived with 3 kids and a husband who's edging ever closer to the big 4-0. Thing is, I wouldn't go back for all the money in the world. Wait, I think I spoke too fast on that one. Maybe for all the money in the world, but that's where I draw the line.
I look back and cringe at some of the bad choices I made and while I miss my old figure - the one that didn't immediately register a bowl of ice cream, but did respond to an occasional work-out - I'm more in love with my wisdom and maturity than anything else. Not as if I'm the wise old owl who knows all, but I find I handle situations much better than I used to.
I remember my first child's first birthday party and even though I had a house full of people who came to celebrate, I obsessed about the ones who did not show up. Why aren't they here? Didn't they realize this was a big occasion? I went to their kids' parties, how could they dare to not reciprocate? It's as though I took every little detail as a personal offense.
While I may not handle everything with grace today, I certainly have completely and fully gotten over the "party" offenses. I'm hoping I'm not alone in this, otherwise I'm exposing a part of myself that should perhaps be written in a diary instead of a public vehicle. I'm hoping there are several of you out there who have been ridiculously offended about something in the past that today would just roll right off your back. It's THAT which I would not trade for all the money in the world. The wisdom, maturity and understanding that comes with experience and time...even though time and I are not exactly friends.
So, here I am, oozing with wisdom and maturity! In October, I will hit my 10-yr Mom mark, which will also mark a decade of surviving off one paycheck. However, the past couple months have brought about many changes. In August, my youngest child started Kindergarten. I had two weeks of no kids, no college and no husband. I had grand plans to organize my life, tackling closets and piles of paper. Unfortunately, it was within those two weeks that I made up for all the times I wanted to just "veg" when my kids were home, but couldn't. I did accomplish a few things, but overall that 2 week hiatus ended up being a vacation of old movies, naps and lounging.
My vacation came to an abrupt end as I headed off to my first day of Nursing school. Since I've had a long break from a 9 hour day away from home, the two full days at school took a bit getting used to. I'm now over a little month into it and am adjusting fairly well, I think. I prep the night before (imagine cramming your fridge with 4 lunchboxes - it's kind of funny!) and try to plan easy dinners for my days away from home. This new chapter of my life brings a lot of joy as well as moments of intense stress. Stress about a sick kid, managing my homework and their homework, juggling sports, field trips, teacher conferences (which have all fallen on days when I'm at school!) and housework. Nursing programs are notorious for having high fail rates, so that's swimming in the back of my mind and adding a bit of pressure. After all, I hate to put myself and my family through this and then not get my license in the end.
If my life were a novel, this college chapter would have fallen right after Chapter 1 but instead got inserted around Chapter 4 or 5, after having gotten hitched, moved around, had 3 lovely babies, matured, bought a home and settled down. The Master Editor has adjusted the chapters of my life to fall in the order that they have and I can only trust that His plan is the best one for my life.
Next possible chapter: Paycheck.
Enjoy your loves and thanks for reading!
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Is It a Condition or Boy-Syndrome?
I'm not sure if it's because my first child was a girl that perhaps I grew a deluded idea of what children were like, but now, 7 years later, I'm still flabbergasted daily by my son and his need for constant reminders. It's to the point that I'm wondering if there's an underlying medical condition going on in which a memory muncher gobbles up the info the moment he says, "Okay, Mom!" and then munch, crunch, swallow the info is quickly disposed of.
We decided on Monday that Ayden, the 7-yr-old in question, does not need to play Wii before school in the mornings, due to the reaction he has when it's time to shut it off. I worry about gaming addiction and I'm pretty sure he's a prime candidate for it. He gets very emotional about his gaming time and could probably play - literally - all day, foregoing food and drink. I have woken up at 5:30 a.m. to him already up and playing, which is concerning considering that he takes after his dad and I generally have to drag him out of bed.
That being said, and getting back to my original topic, the first words out of his mouth on Tuesday were, "Can I play Wii this morning?" His bright blue eyes hopeful until I answered and popped his dreams, his eyes filling instantly with tears. Today he tried a different tactic: "Did you mean that I couldn't play Wii yesterday morning, but that today it's okay?" Uh, no, what I said was, "You are not allowed to play Wii in the mornings before school. Period." Again with the disappointed reaction. He's been warned that he's now at risk now of losing it for an extended period of time...like until next summer.
So that's one example of his forgetfulness, but what really throws me for a loop is the, "Ayden, go wash your breakfast off your face," and off he runs to accomplish this goal. Minutes later I discover that his face is just as dirty as it was before he ran off. "Ayden, why didn't you wash your face?" A quick look of startled remembrance occurs and off he runs again. Really? You forgot in your run to the bathroom the very reason why you were running there? Look, I might end up looking around a room totally lost and confused about why I'm in the room, but I'm 33 with 3 kids, a husband and tons of responsibility...besides this blog isn't about me.
This morning he dressed himself in camouflage pants and a lime green shirt. "Go change into shorts," I said, "you don't match." He came out wearing khaki pants, but since they matched I held my tongue because I'm very aware of how many times I correct the poor kid and I don't want to give him a complex. Yesterday he had to change his socks THREE times - first tall black ones, then tall white ones and then finally ankle socks (you know, the appropriate kind when you're wearing shorts).
This constant forgetfulness happens with putting shoes on, picking up toys, washing hands, brushing teeth, eating breakfast...just about any instructions I give him are at risk of being forgotten the moment it enters his mind. We've even loaded into the car with NO SHOES on him before and his defense is a quick shoulder shrug and a quiet, "I forgot."
This morning all the kids had a dentist appointments so they were late for school. We unloaded at the school and are walking up the sidewalk and my oldest says to Ayden, "Get your backpack!" Sure enough, his sisters each have their backpacks on but he left his in the car. Granted, I didn't tell him to get it, I figured it was kind of obvious that he would need it.
So is this just a "boy thing"? I've endured the ER visits, the extra-watchful eye to ensure he doesn't jump from the highest point of the swing set and the need for speed, but is this forgetfulness a trademark condition of boyhood or is it something I need to pay closer attention to, that perhaps it does mean that something isn't connecting in that mind of his?
Being a mom is the best job I've ever had, though I live with the certainty that I'm not qualified for this task of raising children to become self-sufficient adults. After all, if I can't properly relay to my child that he has chocolate smeared all over his face that he needs to go wash off, how can I think that one day he'll be able to drive a car, use a grill (oh my word, what a terrifying thought!!!) and raise a family of his own?
Love 'em while they'll still let you and thanks for reading!
We decided on Monday that Ayden, the 7-yr-old in question, does not need to play Wii before school in the mornings, due to the reaction he has when it's time to shut it off. I worry about gaming addiction and I'm pretty sure he's a prime candidate for it. He gets very emotional about his gaming time and could probably play - literally - all day, foregoing food and drink. I have woken up at 5:30 a.m. to him already up and playing, which is concerning considering that he takes after his dad and I generally have to drag him out of bed.
That being said, and getting back to my original topic, the first words out of his mouth on Tuesday were, "Can I play Wii this morning?" His bright blue eyes hopeful until I answered and popped his dreams, his eyes filling instantly with tears. Today he tried a different tactic: "Did you mean that I couldn't play Wii yesterday morning, but that today it's okay?" Uh, no, what I said was, "You are not allowed to play Wii in the mornings before school. Period." Again with the disappointed reaction. He's been warned that he's now at risk now of losing it for an extended period of time...like until next summer.
So that's one example of his forgetfulness, but what really throws me for a loop is the, "Ayden, go wash your breakfast off your face," and off he runs to accomplish this goal. Minutes later I discover that his face is just as dirty as it was before he ran off. "Ayden, why didn't you wash your face?" A quick look of startled remembrance occurs and off he runs again. Really? You forgot in your run to the bathroom the very reason why you were running there? Look, I might end up looking around a room totally lost and confused about why I'm in the room, but I'm 33 with 3 kids, a husband and tons of responsibility...besides this blog isn't about me.
This morning he dressed himself in camouflage pants and a lime green shirt. "Go change into shorts," I said, "you don't match." He came out wearing khaki pants, but since they matched I held my tongue because I'm very aware of how many times I correct the poor kid and I don't want to give him a complex. Yesterday he had to change his socks THREE times - first tall black ones, then tall white ones and then finally ankle socks (you know, the appropriate kind when you're wearing shorts).
This constant forgetfulness happens with putting shoes on, picking up toys, washing hands, brushing teeth, eating breakfast...just about any instructions I give him are at risk of being forgotten the moment it enters his mind. We've even loaded into the car with NO SHOES on him before and his defense is a quick shoulder shrug and a quiet, "I forgot."
This morning all the kids had a dentist appointments so they were late for school. We unloaded at the school and are walking up the sidewalk and my oldest says to Ayden, "Get your backpack!" Sure enough, his sisters each have their backpacks on but he left his in the car. Granted, I didn't tell him to get it, I figured it was kind of obvious that he would need it.
So is this just a "boy thing"? I've endured the ER visits, the extra-watchful eye to ensure he doesn't jump from the highest point of the swing set and the need for speed, but is this forgetfulness a trademark condition of boyhood or is it something I need to pay closer attention to, that perhaps it does mean that something isn't connecting in that mind of his?
Being a mom is the best job I've ever had, though I live with the certainty that I'm not qualified for this task of raising children to become self-sufficient adults. After all, if I can't properly relay to my child that he has chocolate smeared all over his face that he needs to go wash off, how can I think that one day he'll be able to drive a car, use a grill (oh my word, what a terrifying thought!!!) and raise a family of his own?
Love 'em while they'll still let you and thanks for reading!
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Stretching a Dollar
Really, only 4 weeks left of summer? And to think that I had planned to have a fantastic summer for my kids, which really amounted to allowing them to swim their hearts out in the backyard. No, not in an in-ground pool, silly, but in a metal-frame liner pool that has decided to start leaking. Still, it's fun because it gets them wet and wears them out.
The biggest problem I'm having with the 6 week summer here is the lack of funding. I think that's the most common denominator of my life. No money or, more accurately, not enough money. As a stay-at-home mom for going on 10 years, I've learned to stretch the dollar just about as far as it can without ripping it in two. With back-to-school just around the corner, it's not the time to blast through cash when two of the kids need new backpacks, all need new shoes, all will need an insane amount of school supplies and I like to treat the kids to at least one new fashionable back-to-school outfit. Yeah, I'm one heck of a crazy spender, eh?
When I consider that we have 3 lovely kids, a nice 4-bedroom house, 3 cars (okay, they all have over 100,000 miles but no one's counting except me!) and are doing it all on one paycheck, I can't help but applaud myself for surviving the stay-at-home crunch. We knew it would be hard going into it, but we've done quite well. This fall all three of my kids will be in public school, gulp, and I will enter into a 2-yr-nursing program, which means that my time at home is on countdown mode. It's a surreal position. I never thought I'd get to this point and honestly I never wanted to. If God would grant me the request to rewind the time back to the birth of my first child, I'd do it in a heartbeat, as being a young mom and raising three amazing, healthy kids has been the highlight of my life.
However, I'm not as sad as I thought I'd be. I thought I'd be teary eyed and wistful, considering the last of my babies is about to head off to the Kindergarten. I'm a little excited, really, not to the point that I'm ready to shove them all out the door and deadbolt it behind them, but excited for the next chapter and not dreading it the way that I thought I would. In two years, God-willing, I'll have a job that actually pays money. What a crazy idea that is!
Looking back at the hardest years of buying diapers and looking at my current situation, here is a little list of money saving tips that made the biggest impact:
The biggest problem I'm having with the 6 week summer here is the lack of funding. I think that's the most common denominator of my life. No money or, more accurately, not enough money. As a stay-at-home mom for going on 10 years, I've learned to stretch the dollar just about as far as it can without ripping it in two. With back-to-school just around the corner, it's not the time to blast through cash when two of the kids need new backpacks, all need new shoes, all will need an insane amount of school supplies and I like to treat the kids to at least one new fashionable back-to-school outfit. Yeah, I'm one heck of a crazy spender, eh?
When I consider that we have 3 lovely kids, a nice 4-bedroom house, 3 cars (okay, they all have over 100,000 miles but no one's counting except me!) and are doing it all on one paycheck, I can't help but applaud myself for surviving the stay-at-home crunch. We knew it would be hard going into it, but we've done quite well. This fall all three of my kids will be in public school, gulp, and I will enter into a 2-yr-nursing program, which means that my time at home is on countdown mode. It's a surreal position. I never thought I'd get to this point and honestly I never wanted to. If God would grant me the request to rewind the time back to the birth of my first child, I'd do it in a heartbeat, as being a young mom and raising three amazing, healthy kids has been the highlight of my life.
However, I'm not as sad as I thought I'd be. I thought I'd be teary eyed and wistful, considering the last of my babies is about to head off to the Kindergarten. I'm a little excited, really, not to the point that I'm ready to shove them all out the door and deadbolt it behind them, but excited for the next chapter and not dreading it the way that I thought I would. In two years, God-willing, I'll have a job that actually pays money. What a crazy idea that is!
Looking back at the hardest years of buying diapers and looking at my current situation, here is a little list of money saving tips that made the biggest impact:
- Don't keep up with others. Sometimes you have to let friendships go that pressure you into making purchases, always eating out, always shopping, always spending, spending, spending.
- Pay attention to your grocery bill. I plan 2-weeks worth of dinner ideas, clip coupons and shop accordingly. The menu planning made the single biggest impact on our grocery bill.
- Budget everything, except for a small amount of spending money. Gas, groceries, utilities, clothing, entertainment, etc. If you have to, go to the envelope method which is when you take X number of envelopes, write what their use is for and put the allotted amount of cash in each. This is a good wake-up call for a lot of people. When you go to the grocery store with $200 cash and no back-up plan, such as a debit or credit card, you will be much more careful about what you throw in your cart!
- Learn how to say "No" to your kids and stick to it.
- Rent movies and only go to the theater for really special shows.
- Watch how often you eat out...consider how much that $30 price-tag would have bought at a grocery store.
- Accept all hand-me-downs. Accepting doesn't mean you have to keep them all! Keep what you like and pass the rest along.
- Be aware of recurring monthly charges, as they add up really quickly. Make a list and see who you're paying and why. Ask if you think it's worth it and go from there.
- Save up for big purchases. In the long run, you'll appreciate it more if you had to wait 8 months pinching penny's versus charging it in an insant, plus you'll be exercising your discipline for future purchases.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)