I never realized I'd end up in my 30's so quickly, you know that age that teens no longer really notice you and if they do, it's not usually for a flattering reason. Well, here I am. I arrived with 3 kids and a husband who's edging ever closer to the big 4-0. Thing is, I wouldn't go back for all the money in the world. Wait, I think I spoke too fast on that one. Maybe for all the money in the world, but that's where I draw the line.
I look back and cringe at some of the bad choices I made and while I miss my old figure - the one that didn't immediately register a bowl of ice cream, but did respond to an occasional work-out - I'm more in love with my wisdom and maturity than anything else. Not as if I'm the wise old owl who knows all, but I find I handle situations much better than I used to.
I remember my first child's first birthday party and even though I had a house full of people who came to celebrate, I obsessed about the ones who did not show up. Why aren't they here? Didn't they realize this was a big occasion? I went to their kids' parties, how could they dare to not reciprocate? It's as though I took every little detail as a personal offense.
While I may not handle everything with grace today, I certainly have completely and fully gotten over the "party" offenses. I'm hoping I'm not alone in this, otherwise I'm exposing a part of myself that should perhaps be written in a diary instead of a public vehicle. I'm hoping there are several of you out there who have been ridiculously offended about something in the past that today would just roll right off your back. It's THAT which I would not trade for all the money in the world. The wisdom, maturity and understanding that comes with experience and time...even though time and I are not exactly friends.
So, here I am, oozing with wisdom and maturity! In October, I will hit my 10-yr Mom mark, which will also mark a decade of surviving off one paycheck. However, the past couple months have brought about many changes. In August, my youngest child started Kindergarten. I had two weeks of no kids, no college and no husband. I had grand plans to organize my life, tackling closets and piles of paper. Unfortunately, it was within those two weeks that I made up for all the times I wanted to just "veg" when my kids were home, but couldn't. I did accomplish a few things, but overall that 2 week hiatus ended up being a vacation of old movies, naps and lounging.
My vacation came to an abrupt end as I headed off to my first day of Nursing school. Since I've had a long break from a 9 hour day away from home, the two full days at school took a bit getting used to. I'm now over a little month into it and am adjusting fairly well, I think. I prep the night before (imagine cramming your fridge with 4 lunchboxes - it's kind of funny!) and try to plan easy dinners for my days away from home. This new chapter of my life brings a lot of joy as well as moments of intense stress. Stress about a sick kid, managing my homework and their homework, juggling sports, field trips, teacher conferences (which have all fallen on days when I'm at school!) and housework. Nursing programs are notorious for having high fail rates, so that's swimming in the back of my mind and adding a bit of pressure. After all, I hate to put myself and my family through this and then not get my license in the end.
If my life were a novel, this college chapter would have fallen right after Chapter 1 but instead got inserted around Chapter 4 or 5, after having gotten hitched, moved around, had 3 lovely babies, matured, bought a home and settled down. The Master Editor has adjusted the chapters of my life to fall in the order that they have and I can only trust that His plan is the best one for my life.
Next possible chapter: Paycheck.
Enjoy your loves and thanks for reading!
